My mother is 85, her memory is very bad, she has leukemia that the doctor says is in remission, and she doesn't want me to have anything to do with her personal life.
I am an only child. My mother is a "hard shell" Baptist. She was a Buck Sargent in the Army, and my poor father was a Private. Their marriage was like they were still in the service the entire time they were married.
My father was an alcholic. The reason he drank was to be able to get up the nerve to tell my mother off.
Everyone tells me that my mother is a wonderful, kind, woman. What a bunch of crap!
As a child, she beat me with the buckle of a belt.
When she got religion, she made me go to church every day of the week, until I became a teenager and rebelled. I wasn't allowed to do anything, because teenagers were considered the "evil" on the earth according to her church. I could go on and on about her church, but won't. I just can't step into a church without tears welling up in my eyes because of the way that church treated their youth, and other people.
My mother moved to Olympia about four years ago, because I am her only child, my daughters are her only grandchildren, and my grandsons are her only great grandsons. I hate to admit it, but I didn't want my mother to move up here because I knew we wouldn't be able to get along.
My mother has informed everyone she knows that I'm bossy. She calls me a liar when I try to tell her things that she doesn't remember.
My daughters can do no wrong, so I've taken a back seat to taking care of my mother.
She lives in a Senior Home, with no care. It will be soon where she will have to go into an assisted living home because of her losing her memory. No it's not Alzheimer's.
I could go on, and on, but as my husband has told me, "You've put your hand out to your Mother so many times, and all she has done is slap it." "Give up, and leave it up to the girls to help her take care of business."
I'm going thru so much guilt, because I can't even call her anymore. I have nothing to talk to her about.
I take her out for drives, to dinner, anything else I can think of, and it's just useless because we just don't connect.
The last incident was Christmas.
I told my Mother that my dtr. had asked that my husband and I pick her up to take her to my dtr's. for Christmas dinner, and I would call her before we left our home, so she would have time to get down to the lobby and wait for us to pick her up. I told her I would call around 4 and 4:15 p.m.
She started calling at 2:00 wanting to know when we'd be there to pick her up. I told her the above, and she said ok.
She continued to call when I was in the shower, and other times. I ignored the calls.
Went to pick her up, and she started in on me why we were late. It was 4:05p.m.
Told her we weren't late, and she started in on me, and I just clamed up.
I just won't take her yelling at me anymore. I'm not 12 years old. I've been told I don't have to take what she says, and to tell her to stop talking to me like I'm a child, there is no reason for me to have to take her talking to me like she does. It's very hateful, and let me tell you, it hurts!
I've told my dtrs. that I will not pick my Mother up for any family activities again. They will have to take care of it. I will be happy to take her home.
I could go on and on, but just needed to vent.
Does anyone out there have a problem like this?
Please don't tell me to take what she says, and just let it go in one ear and out the other. I've tried......ended up with an ulcer.
Thanks,
Lynne