My feeling, Misfire, is that you won't "be hit" later. Both of my parents died very slowly - with hospice care. I experienced relief at their deaths. Their "life" beforehand was far worse. It just took their bodies so long to die. Your grieving has been going on for so long. You had the wonderful experience of discussing family history and events with your mother - something you didn't have with your dad. That is likely one reason losing your dad was so devastating. Your mom was ready to join your dad, so you can celebrate her life with the plans you've made.

I shed a few brief tears when my mother died - mostly of relief. I was happy she could finally be rid of pain and she could join dad, which is what she wanted. I believe they are, in some form, together now. God bless you. Keep in touch.