I really hope that parents or friends of parents who are struggling with an addict in the family learn from my mistakes.
My son called me from the hospital letting me know that he was being discharged. He decided to go back to treatment
at my request, but also said he knows it's the only way.

I had done some homework and discovered after connecting with a former crack addict that these short treatment programs 30 to 40 days just don't work in the long term, short term yes but not once the addict is out on his own. The temptations are too great. I was told that after treatment a crack addict should not have any cash available to him for at least six months. If he works he will need to get someone else to be in charge of his money. Sounds good but not easy to do.

Anyway, I found a 1 year program that my son could get into straight away. He agreed that he needs to be in treatment for a longer period of time. I gave him all the info and he agreed to go and said he called the facility to set up an intake meeting. The centre is Christian based which he likes, and is on a farm, very strict but a very good recovery rate, close to 85% recovery.
AA and shorter programs success rate is only 5%. This would mean, leaving the city he is in, leaving his job which was gone anyway as he relapsed and did not show up at work for 3 days. He was also kicked out of his house because he owed everyone money, was behind on the rent etc. etc. After the relapse he found himself in the hospital psych ward.

So, the dilemma, to get him from the city he is in now, to the city with the year long treatment program, 8 hours away.

My son has no ID. He never does as he looses everything. He only has the clothes on his back, all of his worldly goods which were many this time around are all gone. Typical with drug addicts.

Anyway he needs a bus ticket to get to the treatment centre. The bus depot would not let me buy a ticket for him because he would need ID to pick it up. So, I sent $200 cash through Western Union, you only need ID over 1,000. He called me to say he received it and was on his way to the bus depot and he would call me when he got to the treatment centre.

Next day: I get a call from hospital psych ward. They say they are calling on behalf of my son and that he needs $169.00 for a bus ticket. I am confused. I say "what is he doing at the hospital, he said he left". The nurse said "no he did not leave". I said "I just sent him $200 yesterday and that he was to buy a bus ticket with it". She said to me " Well, where do you think the money went"

I was floored, felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. My son has ripped me off before but not like this. Years ago he pawned my jewelry etc. and if I gave him $20 here or there I'm sure he may have spent it on drugs, but this was something new. Usually if he needs a place to stay I have paid for it directly. I buy him clothes rather than give him money, buy him groceries etc.

I made a real point about the money, and my lack of it. I told him that sending him $200 would leave me really short. I told him that my rent is more than my last pay cheque that things have slowed down at work (which they have)
I made it very clear to him that giving him this money was really going to hurt and I would be very short in funds, in the red actually. He said he really appreciates this and will call me as soon as he gets there.

So, lesson learned, never give addicts money, ID or not, never.....never.....never.

I found out that he had someone call my daughter's cell phone and ask her for money. He must be in a very bad way.

For now I am trying to see the addiction for what it is, not get madand just learn my lesson. But, it hurts, it really hurts especially since I told him I couldn't afford it.

I need to realize that crack or whatever the drug takes away the addicts reasoning, all they want is the drug and they will lie, cheat, steal whatever to get it.

I hope some of you saw the Oprah show the other day. She had a Dad and his former drug addict son on the show as they have both written books. Their story is almost identical to mine so at least I found some comfort there. Although one family that was on and told their story lost their son, he died of an overdose while they were in the waiting room at the hospital. Sad, very sad. I am so afraid that this will happen to my son.
Kate