I went through this nearly 2 years ago. I pleaded with my Dad's doctor to help me (at the time I was living 600 miles away.) Of course, he was non-committal and I admit that it was not his decision to. Anyway, after Dad suffered a heart attack, I again pleaded with the doctor to at least 'order' him to stop driving for 6 weeks. It was then that we found out that he did not have a valid license. He'd been called in for testing (at the onset of his 88th birthday.) He failed the test - but was issued an ID card (which looks like a license - but plainly states that it is an ID card.) He had been driving for nearly 2 years without a valid lisence. To this day, I don't know whether he knew it or not, I have a hunch that he did. Since he was a Chrysler retiree and was still on the leasing program - we arranged to turn the car in early and that was that. We had to arrange for some supplemental help to run errands, etc. But, he never got over it. He would complain about that "empty garage" every time I would see him. Talk about a guilt trip.....

Today, as I was leafing through the Oct. issue of BHG there is an article "Taking the Car Keys" I will breifly list them here:

Suggest they give the car to a grandchild. They can tell their friends that their granddaughter needed the car.

Talk to your parent from direct experience. Don't take your teenagers word that,"Grandma nearly got us killed today." Ride with your parent yourself.

Have the conversation somewhere other than in the car. Bring up the supbject later. Never crack a joke about their driving. Ask about friends who drive but who shouldn't be on the road. They'll often make the connection between these folks and themselves.

If your parent becomes defensive and agitiated, drop the conversation and bring it up again a day or two later, after they've had a chance to cool off, or perhaps reconsider.

Present alternatives to driving. Do your homework on volunteer drivers, van services, senior shuttles, taxis and buses. Even in rural areas, there are always altenatives. But be prepared to take up some of the slack yourself and drive your parent.

Make sure you are addressing the right parent. Sometimes the non-driving parent -- often the wife-- covers up for the spouse's deficits, or belives he is safe as long as she rides along. She may have a lot invested in his driving. She may be the one you have to convince.

Enroll your parent in a driving course and agree to abide by the decision of the driving instructor.

If none of this works, for safety's sake, you should refuse to let your children ride with them.