Dee,
I was so confused on this and had to read it several times to "get it." It isn't you, just my p-sized brain. What a mess. Ex's can screw up a two-car funeral. Holy crap. While Dianne's approach does work for some, I can see why breaking the ties completely with this evil person is for the best.

One thing I've found is that all people have to do is SAY something, and the world takes it for face value. I'm so sorry to hear what she did to you sweet hubby. I know he wonders how he was ever married to her. Bless his heart. She wanted to hurt him pretty bad, didn't she? That is unforgivable though in my book.

I think you all are taking the right approach by nipping it in the bud, (as Barney would say). It is YOUR home, your hospitality, and your time/effort. Nip it. Don't let things slide back into the old routine where they try to blackmail your hubby with emotions.

She won't always be pregnant ... and hormonal or not, she needs to grow up!

(Queen stepping down from soapbox)