thank you newleaf for your apoligy and your re-think and understanding i appriate it.

Being about addicts only between 4 and 6 % make it into recovry and on to a productive life...to quote some of the litriture the rest go into relapse end up in jails, institusions and death....the suicide rate is incredibly high. When they have tried recovery, treatment centeres, religion, psychiaty 12 steap programes relashionships and nuthing works or heals them.....their choice is back to drugs which is so horrendes for them they choise death instead of living in their addiction or constant state of pain with or without drugs. Some or all have ptsd or mental illness, or personalitie disorders etc...its hell for them. There also a whole bodie of people who don't have the addictive part but have the intrusive thinking and emotional pasin for a variety of reasons. The statisticks fair much better for them guys and ladies.

My responcibilitie is do the best i can, the best regardless of what they have done in their addiction or are currently doing. Theirs a lot i cant agree with in terms of lifestyle when it comes to the addict hurting others but yet they are as deserving of love respect and the best of care as anyone else....If i do my best and leave their healling as their responcibilitie and not mine i can sleep at night. That dosent mean their no pain or loss if they die or kill themselfs or relaps it just means its their responcibilite and mine is to do my best by them. I got a lot of love for people generallie, its a strenth and a weekness at times. Learning the above took years and a lot of pain untill i learned it.

I also belive the path or part of the cure or way out of addiction/depression/disorders is developing a spiritual way of life. Its central to my life iv been luckie and only had 1 yr of no faith in my life is was so dark it was almost unbearible....it tought me the importance of god for MY life other people don't maybee never have had that faith and if they can't join a religion then the best they can do is develop spiritual principles.....who knows weer it leads for them in the future. A lot do in time progress furtheir back into religion (that hurt them so much) but with renew faith and a diffrent take on things they make it back to religion. I am glade becouse of the religious communite and sence of belonging they recive, none of its bad.

In many ways i unserstand why you come on so strong with your religouse belifes, i think it's central to your life and you get so much benifit from it in some sences it is your passion. I kinda like that about you....I think it was gymster that said plant the seed, spread the word of god and thats all god will expect of you. Stand back from the outcome, it be easier for you and your not responcible, As you have dune all thats expected of you. Just let go of the outcome,maybee it be easier for you. But belive me i understand the worrie and drive to "save souls" i done it in my earlier life too and took it personalie as my mission and it was born out of fear and panic for others and what would happen to their imortal soul, why could't they relise the risk they weer taking etc...i was a pest of hell and worried myself sick.

bottom line don't lose your passion for your god and your way, just communicate it diffrently if you can stand back from the outcome.

Who knows what will happen at the end of the day or how it will happen.

I like the last quote becouse of it's inclusivness, becouse it includes "everyone", thats a nice take or interpritasion of it. At this point i don't know how why or when it come true, if it be true.....You might be right....who knows in the end.

anyway thanks and take the best care of yourself, it's very late for me so night and god belss

celtic