You divorced him once why not again? He doesn't sound like any kind of a positive addition to your life so maybe its time to cut the cord so to speak and move on. Imagine him suddenly being sick or injured and not being able to contribute even what he does now and your being stuck taking care of him FOREVER more! Oh bite my tongue....the children are old enough to understand and if they want a relationship with their dad they can have one. Until you straighten out your life there will be no happiness, no new someone to love and take care of you so best to get started...Oh and welcome to boomers starryeyes and I liked War and Peace so never you mind, it takes whatever it takes to say what we need to say...