Don't know if this is the right place for this post, should probably be in "loss" but I didn't want to change that topic as it appears there's a healthy conversation on-going. But something Eagle said in a recent post coupled with the sudden loss of the parent of a dear friend, reminded me of the feelings I had when I lost my father. As our parents age, we begin to prepare ourselves at some level for the time when we will lose them. Yet when it happens, regardless of our age or theirs, we feel a little like orphans.

We try to rationalize and intellectualize our loss w/ the old platitudes: they lived a long life, full life, whatever....they are in a better place, yadayada....but at the emotional level we've lost mommy or daddy. The child in us mourns and hurts and aches with the loss. We should not minimize our own loss w/ rationalizations. We really need to take the time to mourn, to let ourselves feel like orphans for a bit....otherwise, the next loss seems to be even worse as we haven't allowed ourselves to deal w/ the first.

Losing my dad was one of the hardest things I've ever faced. It took me a couple of years to get to the point where it didn't hurt constantly. My heart goes out to any of you who have lost a parent, or even both. Don't be too hard on yourself, or impatient w/ yourself because you think it's taking too long to get past the grief.
Becoming an orphan, even an adult one, is a difficult, if inevitable passage, in our lives... and we must think of ourselves in a new way....a parentless child.

Hope this isn't maudlin....just realized that there are probably more than a few grown up "orphans" out there.