All by myself

Lately my husband and I haven't been able to realy spend a lot of time together. When we do get to spend time together, all we do is complain about how we have no time for all of these different things, including spending time together. It's just very frustrating because we just can't seem to get a handle on the schedules lately.

[ June 08, 2003, 09:24 PM: Message edited by: Candice Johnson ]

I know the feeling! For me I have to schudule "me" time into his schedule, otherwise I never get to see him. Sometimes that doesn't work, as he will get phone calls from clients as he is leaving work, and he is sometimes hours coming. Haven't yet gotten a solution to that. Don't know a RX to become his #1 priority instead of the bottom one. Any ideas?

Throught the years I have come to realize this is a crazy time of year. Hopefully summer will allow for some lazier days where you can feel the pleasure of not much to do.

I think there are times when we need to say no to the outside world just so we can reconnect. Our society (myself included)must slow down and smell the roses.

Last night we had a neighborhood party that only happens once a year. The kids aren't invited which is usually cool, but our lives have been so crazy busy that we decided to stay home at the last minute because we were all here for a change. I felt like I had found a few hours and it was a great feeling!

Praying that candice and swimbo can find the time to spend with their hubbies.

Swimbo, I say just show up at his work and take him to lunch one day.

Candice, Maybe if the two of you sit and write down what you are doing with your time it might become clear that you are trying too hard to please both of your families, or his work, or your work, volunteer work...whatever. Putting things on paper makes them more real. Just a thought.

My husband and I sought counseling on this important subject and we found out we needed to do a number of things to help make time for each other.

Most importantly, we began having a datenight (once per week). This was so much fun and once we set the date, we tried hard not to break it. Dinner or a movie or even just a walk in Towson or an ice-cream date if pressed for time. It has been a Godsend!

Also, we try to annually to list out our priorities and simplify as much as possible. Too many charges and interests can be unhealthy sometimes. We get a good look at what is top priority and what is med or less. This helps us to prioritize time for us.

PS Date night does not include anyone else.!!

There are books on this subject as well. Look up:Building Good Relationships with Spouses, etc.

Another thought -- we try to walk in the evenings together 3-5 days a week. Boy do we cover a lot of ground (talking) and neither of us misses the TV!

Best one for us: Date night. It's fun!!

I actually took some advice from a therapist friend of mine. She said for us to take ten minutes, five minutes each, and say all the things we love about each other. It was pretty awesome. Such a focused concentrated amount of praise and love was just enough to make all that tension we were having about our busy lives just go away.

So while I might not be able to fit in an evening for a date night, I can get ten minutes every now and then.

[ June 12, 2003, 03:27 PM: Message edited by: Candice Johnson ]