Hi all. I've had to take a hard stand with my son, was wondering if anyone else has had to do the same. He has struggled since the divorce, left college, has gone through several jobs, moved back home, little sense of urgency to get a good job and get his life going, is 22 and has been living with me (again) for over a year--since he has gone through several jobs.

I have been paying his bills to help his credit remain good, he continually would come to me for gas money etc--has to have gas to get a job right?. Got him to agree to get some counseling but he didn't stick with it. Finally found marijuana and drug parephenalia in his desk. Turns out he'd been lying to me for, a long time, taking money from me and my motherthly love to manipulate and be supported by me while I worked 3 jobs!!!!

I confronted him and demanded that he get rid of it. I set up a meeting with his counselor and my pastor and we did an intervention which he basically refused-said there was nothing wrong with him. We set up some strick house rules--3 stikes and you're out and 1 strike and you're out rules. After 2 weeks I went back to his desk and found that he had brought some of the drug stuff back in to the house. When he returned home that night I confronted him again and asked him to leave. He did without arguing and we hugged and we both said 'I love you' before he left.

That was nearly 3 weeks ago. I've been told he is sleeping in his car--it was nearly 95 degrees the first week. I have heard from him once. The 'I love you' has turned to sullen anger. I know in my head I did the right thing, but my heart is breaking. Does anyone have some pearls of wisdom I can use?

I have canceled his health insurance, car insurance and am trying to get my name off the car title so that he is completely on his own. I also changed the locks because he came back into the home when I wasn't there.

I'm angry at him for having done this to me. I'm angry at me for being blind and not knowing what was going on. I'm terrified for him. Horribly sad and brokenhearted for me--How can I feel such conflicting emotions all at the same time?! I know I've done the right thing, the only thing that could be done in this case. But there's a part of me that is terrified that I will never see him again, never have a healed relationship again--yet I know that the relationship we were having wasn't healthy either.....So just wondering if anyone has a great testimony on tough love and how it worked out in the end.

P.S. This has pushed my decision to relocate forward. I am moving the first part of September to my sister's. I am going to start over. If there are any Boomer gals in the Quad Cities area, let me know!