Boy, do I need some advice.

As briefly as possible, I'll try to explain my situation.

I will be returning to my home in Arizona after 2 1/2 years in Germany and periodic visits home to be with my family ... and to spend time with my two grandkids -- Alix, 11 year old granddaughter and Cody, soon to be 10 year old grandson. I've missed them terribly ... leaving them really did break my heart (which God so graciously healed) and I long to spend time with them.

I no longer work full-time in an office setting but I am a freelance author with my first book just published and working on the next book, marketing the one just out, and other various writing projects ... but doing it on MY schedule. You see, I had a stroke about 10 years ago that didn't leave many long-term disabilities unless I am in stressful situations. Then I literally (physically and emotionally just fall apart) and don't function well.

My daughter has been living in our home and she and her fiance are now in the process of finding another place to live. There income will be stretched in finding something they can afford. She's got the opportunity for a nice place (within their budget) but it's a little far out of town. The kids go to a charter school and could (I stress "COULD") continue to take the bus home to the house and then I would have them for an hour each day, four days a week.

I WANT TO DO THIS. Would love to have them there. But ... oh, there are so many "buts" -- the two biggest ones are fear that I'd start to feel that anxiety and stress that debilitates me AND the impact on my marriage. My husband believes my daughter takes advantage of me. He's even talked about how he KNOWS she is going to do it again. Of course, this just came up and NO, I haven't brought it up to him.

Please, please ... does anyone have any common sense (read that to mean sort of "unemotional") advice to give?

Here's the thing. I know a lot of grandparents are involved with their grandchildren and provide that extended family that provides extra love and comfort.

I'm at a loss and I have to admit, telling her I can't not only breaks my heart, but it really does leave me feeling sick to my stomach at the idea. I'm so torn.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciate and your prayers would be most welcome.

Confused in Germany ...

Blessings, Francine