Why do men...

WHY DO MEN PEE STANDING UP??

God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between
Adam and Eve. He thought He might just as well ask them.

He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing,"
God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of
thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!"

On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So
God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.

Adam! was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place...first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and
then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."

"What's it called?" asked Eve.

"Brains," said God.

Sandra, I learned a very good lesson just now. I should not read your posts while drinking Dr. Pepper - not only was that painful going through my nose, but well, it leaves an interesting mess on my computer screen.

I'm eating pretzels, and thankfully I didn't choke!

Funny one, Sandra

Well Wendy...maybe from now on I'll start with "spew alert!" grin...

Meredithbead...you've been in my thoughts for a couple of weeks now; how are you? In my thoughts though, you're BeadWoman. Isn't it funny how we assign names to folks we know? I think you should trademark the name BeadWoman...the advenstures of BeadWoman...that just sounds SOOO COOL!

No food disaster for me but still left me laughing till I nearly pee'd my britches...Oh Adam!!!! Me too Meredith, I was wondering about the cactus fiasco and how things are now in your yard, I agree BeadWoman is a great name...

I was thinking of Meredith's cactus. I have about seven Cacti in my front room and they receive sun most of the day. Several of them have grown about two feet in as many years.

Very funny...

Thanks for thinking of me Sandra! I've been working 70-hour weeks since mid-April and have about 3 more to go before I have a breather.

The cactus story:
Neither homeowners nor regular insurance paid for squat, but we're thinking about taking something off on taxes for decrease in property values, or something like that. Didn't have cash to pay for gardening service so we borrowed a chain saw and cut a path through the cactus logs. No one could get into our yard for over a month.

We cleared the path right before my heavy work schedule began, so we cleaned up what could be cleaned, and left the rest. There are cactus logs all over our tiny yard.

Some of the logs have started to grow babies (cactus buds). The main trunk, which we cut down to 2' tall -- and it was still too heavy to move, we could upright it only partially -- and too thick for this particular chain saw to cut further -- is also growing cactus babies.

The bouganvillea bush, which got completely smashed when the cactus fell, has somehow found a way to grow on both sides of the fallen cactus.

The little brown birds, whose nest was squashed when the bush got clobbered -- the birds are back too, although not as many as before.

Life goes on. Nature contines, and new things grow.

Boy isn't it amazing how things work out. If mother nature gets her way, it will probably all turn out to be a blessing.
Maybe nature is building a cactus log cabin addition onto your house. (Hey, it could happen!)
smile

Cute story, Thistle. Smile, it's so nice to see you back. Welcome home. I haven't seen Cacti any bigger than a couple of feet high. These sound like monsters, Meredith. Put up a sign. Free to a good home... Cactus babies. Maybe the neighbors would cart them off, or do they have them also?
chick

The neighbor across the street has a garden with about 50% from my cuttings and discards, and he doesn't need any more. No one else on the block xeriscapes. Maybe I should take pictures of my "babies" and sell them real cheap online? Not that I need another project, you know.

I have trouble giving away the 100's of fruits from the prickly pear cactus (flat pads; a totally different type than the one that fell) each summer. I see the fruits forming now. I eat some but can't handle that many.

chickadee, cactus isn't native to your area, so they won't grow as big as they grow in the ground here. Even my potted ones -- identical plants, but in pots -- aren't as large. You can't buy huge cacti because they'd be impossible to ship without damage.

meredith, just a thought...couldn't you set up a booth for cacti next to your jewelry?

chick

good idea, BUT...

Booths are 10x10 (and more booth space costs more $$), and mine is already crowded with jewelry (mostly), bead supplies, poetry books, and a few beaded pots and boxes. Set-up is 90 minutes.

I brought a small crate of plants to shows several years ago, but I never made enough money to rationalize the extra time potting, packing, and displaying.

Meredith, when we moved from Ohio to Tennessee in the middle of winter, I wrapped my plants, cacti included, in paper and didn't water them for a few days before. It was freezing cold but they have done really well. I thought one was dead but I just kept babying it and it's growing like crazy. They're pretty tough.

Dianne,

If you water them more than once a week you risk root rot. Yes, they're very tough! That's why I love them! -- they just grow and grow without much help from me.

I only water mine once a month. So far, so good but I'm going to have to move one that is near the ceiling to the foyer. Hope there is enough light there for it.

How did we get from men peeing to plants?

Maybe their peeing on the plants, oh I know, how grose, bad bad me.....