Examples of Boomer boldness

Reading Meredith's post about her boldness in creating and becoming a poet laureate on the Featured Author topic inspired me to start a new topic.
At this moment, I can't think of a single thing I've done recently that was very bold, but I bet everyone else can and we all need inspiration.

So how about it girls? I know boomers are a bold bunch so let's hear some stories about how boldness worked for (or against) you.

smile

Hi Nancy, don't let anyone push you around anymore. I used to think everyone was more important than me. If someone butted ahead of me I would figure they had a very good reason, and I would let them. No more. Be bold! Love and Light, Lynn

Hey Lynn, I'm no attorney (though I was once married to one), but sounds to me like you might have a huge claim against the contractor who dumped the concrete and stopped up the sewer. They are required to have liability insurance and if you filed a claim quickly, you could probably get some serious compensation.

Off topic, but....

Now back to bold boomering.
smile

This is gonna sound strange but I think I'm too bold so I'm working on being more passive. It causes me less stress.

I'm with you Dianne. Being bold can be a pain in the neck. I guess I'm getting into being passive too.
There's a lot to be said for being submissive--though not subjected. I think I am practicing just submitting to the universe for awhile.
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I was little miss perfectly sweet and so submissive for most of my growing up years. This is a nasty saying but it fits that I wouldn't have said sh- - if I had a mouth full until one day I flipped out. I was 27 and my ex introdued me months earlier to a female bar patron who did everything in her power to steal him, she was nasty to me behind his back. Well, one afternoon he was in the restroom when I walked into the bar and as I entered I said, "Hi everyone," and was acknowledged back. I then went to the bank for him with the receipts. Well, when I got back he was mad and told me quietly so no one could hear, to stay home if I couldn't be nice to HIS customers. Sheila the w@#*& told him I never said hello when I came in, that I had ignored her. We had only been married less than a year and I was expecting. Until that moment whatever he said was law, I adored him and wanted to make him happy as with everyone else in my life. Something snapped and I picked up a glass and threw it at the mirror behind the bar. It was afternoon and there were only about three people there but everyone scatterd and I shouted, that this was the last time he was ever going to put some scum bag in front of me, that she was a liar and next time I saw her I was going to slap her stupid face. If he wanted her few dollars so bad he could have her and them because I was leaving, and shaking I headed for the door. A couple of the men told him I had said a very friendly hello to everyone when I walked in and he came running out after me. I felt strangely powerful and told im from now on it better be known to all that I was his woman and came first or I'd take his son, his car, his money and walk. He was a changed man and I was foever changed. About Sheila I didn't tell him to ban her in fact from that day forward I did ignore her and he was not allowed to speak to her except to serve her her booze. Finally she stopped coming around. I have never been second to anyone since and have been anything but submissive. Every time I try to be a kinder, gentler person PLOP someone poops on my head...

[ January 14, 2005, 11:16 AM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

I am being bold every single day I follow my dream with Boomer Women Speak. I get my boldness from the Lord who is leading me every step of the way.

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

Well, will wonders never cease??

My boldness comes "after" these words, Dotsie.
I have been doing it for years.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I say it 3 times and away I go. It can be before an interview, speech, or just about anytime I need a cup of gumption.

It is foolproof!!! It's like a shot in the arm or a kick in the butt.

We really do have a lot in common as boomers, don't we...
Norman Vincent Peale - the power of positive thinking - a bible for self, don't you think?

chickadee

I used to be very very shy but I've always been stubborn. I see something that "needs" to be done and I don't stop until I do it. Sometimes this can be what others call boldness, and sometimes it's a quiet force that refuses to give in.

I have always tried to follow my convictions. The list is WAY too long to print here.

And I always tell other women they can do the same.

I get tired of being strong. I get tired of being expected to have all the answers. I get tired of not feeling right when I ask others for their opinion because it might make me look less than... I just get tired. Because I'm the author of a book on domestic violence, I'm supposed to know everything or have all the right answers for every single woman who contacts me. I'm worn out! Every single time I try to step back and take a breath, I have another woman call or email me and ask for help and I know this is God telling me I'm doing what I should be doing but I just get so tired and weary. I have problems too. My husband took a mental leave of absence for about a year and although he seems to be back to his old self, I'm left with doubt and stress because I just don't trust anymore. Everything I believed in just flew out the window. I haven't been able to completely regroup yet. Gads, this sounds horrible but I've been feeling like I'm gonna explode! Being an "authority" on a topic puts a lot of pressure on them. It's like they've been moved to a higher realm or something and they better not fall off or be human or everyone is watching and think of those who will be disappointed!

I can't help but feel being so strong or trying to be so strong has caused a lot of my problems. Maybe my husband gets sick and tired of me being so strong and would like a woman who is vulnerable. Who knows? I can't figure it out because for the most part, I don't know how to be vulnerable because of fear. Oh geesh, I've really blown here, haven't I? I needed to get this off my chest and I just can't do it on my site because these women call me their ringleader for pete sakes! Sorry.

Don't be sorry. That's how you feel. If you can't tell us, then who can you tell?

I can see how everyone looking up to you sucking up your strength can be exasperating at times and I see on your site how that occurs and yet I also see that you answer this challenge openly, head on and seemingly as their leader impervious to obstacles of your own. Maybe its time to let these women see you also have a vulnerable side. I imagine they can be alot stronger for you and for themselves if need be. I don't think anyone actually expects you to be this perfect stepford wife only there as a solver of their problems. No one, especially a married woman doesn't have problems of one type or another. Your human too after all. You hurt, you bleed, you suffer just like they do....

If you try to solve all these women's problems you will only exhaust yourself and diminish their power.
There must be a way, especially through the internet, or maybe through local groups that you could help more women by empowering them to get together to discuss and find solutions for their own problems.
I know that abused women find it difficult to open up and being in a face to face group might be very difficult if not impossible for many. I would think the anonymnity of the internet would be extremely helpful.
In a college business couse I learned that you should never accept responsiblity without authority. In this case, it sounds as if you are taking on these women's responsibility for their own lives without comensurate authority to control their actions.
That must be extremely stressful.
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I don't know. I'm tired.

Aww, geez, Dianne, no wonder you're tired. I just vistited your site and followed some of the links. Remember how Jesus had to go out in the boat once in a while? Or go up into the mountains and pray? Because people were always touching him and touching him. Even Jesus got tired and had to rest. Take a break. Take a vacation. Get some one you trust to cover you for a while. You need it. We love you and we want you to be healthy.

Ms D,
These wounded women are looking for answers, strength, and solice.(Tell you something you don't already know, right?).

You're it because they've found someone who will listen to them, and let them lean on without having to fear.

The problem I think is that there are so many abused women leaning on YOU that you can't breathe. You are there "safe-house" I think. I also think this can cause even more problems because you cannot be their strength. They have to learn to do it for themselves.

I've know women who would go to psychics on a regular basis. They wouldn't dare make a move without first checking with Madam Swammie (not her real name). Hello? ...who living who's life here? I'm not advocating that you STOP helping these women. I think you are very, very good at what you do. But I am saying that you cannot save the world. I think getting someone to come in and take over the site/forum, whatever say...once a week, twice a week, might just save your sanity...Not only that, it would give you time to go shopping for some new shoes...am I right? I do hope you have someone who YOU can lean on. Don't forget you've got a room full HERE.

JJ

I saw "Jesus Christ Super Star" at a time when I was feeling drained from so many family, friends, and employees relying on me. The play brought a Scripture to life for me.
The scene where the followers of Jesus are at his feet with their hands up begging for help impressed me most. In the play at that point Jesus in exasperation pleads, "Go and heal thyself."
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[ January 15, 2005, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Dianne,
It might be good to take a leave of absence and re-energize yourself. You would be doing yourself a great injustice if you continued in your tired state. Abused women look up to the strong like yourself and admire you for being that way. They wonder how you do it and wish they could be like you. Some learn from you and others stay in a purgatory. You cannot be all things to all people. Having dealt/dealing with your own issues and helping others is admirable, but a constant reminder of abuse and abusive situations can take its toll. Your caring nature makes you hang in there, but you have to look after yourself before you can look after others.
What do you think would help ease your tiredness?
Keeping you in my prayers.

chickadee

I don't know. Maybe using another outlet that I really enjoy, like learning screenwriting. I just get so tired sometimes, mentally and physically. I just returned from Paris so that was a break. Maybe it's the sadness of what I deal with and some of the horrible things I've heard that people do to other people. It's horrible, sad, depressing, not right. Domestic violence is not a pretty topic. I think I'm going to just kick back this week end and have some fun and relaxation. I need to refire my spirit.

Amazing what a day or two can do to refresh your spirit. I'm feeling much better.

I think one of my problems is I've been kind of sick since I returned from France. So, I'm going to the doctor today as whatever I have keeps hanging on.

My dog and I kicked back and watched chick flicks all day yesterday.

Many decades ago, my car broke down on the side of the road just outside some God forsaken town in Mississippi. Two young men, boys really, stopped to give me a ride back to town and began discussion on where to drive to so they could rape me. I'm in the backseat and slid the safety off my hand gun then clicked a bullet into the chamber. Talk changed to where they could drop me off in town.

Yes, I would have, if I'd had to.

Good for you Sandra and you're here with us alive and well BUT imagine what could have happened if you had been outnumbered and unprotected, and on your way to that second location....scary.