When I went to my doctor a year ago, overwhelmed by life to the point of chronic panic attacks and acid reflux disorder, he said that I had "Mother's Disease". I saw on the news this morning a new syndrone called "Hurried Women's Disorder" or something like that. It describes the symptoms as panic, depression, anxiety, weight gain.....sound familiar. The last few weeks have given me time for great introspection and I realized something just this morning. We women build our prisons a brick at a time. We are the architects of our condition. Boomerwomen especially grew up in an era where we were told we could have it all, do it all, should want it all. Well we've got it all right! Marriage, children, jobs, volunteering, etc, etc, etc. We become the consumate pleasers, basing our satisfaction or lack there of on other people and their expectations while internally believing that this is as it should be. So brick by brick, wall by wall, bar by bar, we've created a prison for ourselves, often hiding our true selves inside. At least that is my case....I shouldn't presume about anyone else. But I found during my recent crisis that I didn't want to live in my prison anymore. I still wanted my husband, my kids et al....but I wanted the whole me to emerge from that prison. A person who said, so what if I admit that I am vulnerable. So what if I want my husband to take care of me. So what if I want a more old fashioned- traditional marriage. So what if I go a little wild. So what if I become a sexual wild woman. Take the chance and see what happens. Don't be afraid to let the whole person step out into the light of day and shed the prison garb. Well let me tell you, the first week of my parole has been a revelation, sometimes scary, but mostly incredibly satisfying.
My how I have gone on.....sorry! Just had to share.