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#69732 - 05/09/05 12:32 AM
"Epiphany" on self-worth
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Hello, all, Today while driving back from taking my mother to dinner for Mother's Day, I was meditating/praying for clarity in my thinking regarding relationships. I didn't expect any "revelations" but I have been divorced 8 years now, and have not had good experiences, I am doing some real soul-searching. Many of you have posted helpful responses to me in the first thread I posted about "He's Just Not That Into You. While driving, after my prayer, the thought came to me "out of the blue," so to speak: "How much anxiety, self-doubt, worry and self-recrimination are justified in order to be in the company of a man and maintain a relationship with him?" The answer is so simple it sounds stupid, but it is NONE....NONE!!!!! I think it was Dianne who had asked me to consider what my experiences have taught me about my own value to myself. Until today, I really couldn't even ponder that question. Although I am a graduate student in Fine Art, an accomplished artist, an art teacher, have a nice home, an adequate income, and the grandmother of beautiful redheaded twin toddler boys, I have still managed to let dysfunctional relationships drain me of my energy. Today, I think I came to the "crossroads!" I am going to print and plaster that message of "No anxiety is justified...NONE!!" around my house! Thanks to all of you strong, positive women here for your helpful insights and examples. ARI
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#69735 - 05/10/05 01:15 AM
Re: "Epiphany" on self-worth
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Member
Registered: 02/21/05
Posts: 211
Loc: british columbia
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Dear Ariadne I am so pleased for you. ENJOY YOU ARIADNE! The most important companion in your life is YOU! Then only beauty can be added to you and the right man will just arrive as if a gift from heaven. We are the mirrors of our surroundings and our relationships and within the heart of time our love for ourselves grows and blossoms and because of this our lives become filled with effervescence and grand surprises!
With love Leigha
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#69736 - 05/10/05 04:56 AM
Re: "Epiphany" on self-worth
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Thanks, Dianne...for asking me to think about things, and also, Dotsie, thanks for the suggestion of journaling. I will try to do that. Leigha, it's a beautiful thought...the idea that a man will appear as a result of the positive aspirations you mention. I am skeptical, as you can imagine. For now, I am working on contentment alone! Love to all, ARI
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#69738 - 05/11/05 12:52 AM
Re: "Epiphany" on self-worth
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Yes, Dotsie! Contentment alone! I'm kinda excited about it! I have registered for two summer graduate classes in the art dept. at Marshall Univ. in weaving and ceramics. I look forward to immersing myself in creating new work. Also, my home is a comfortable haven which I've taken great pains to create, and most of the time, I feel the presence of a man here would be an "intrusion" to my space, privacy, spiritual pursuits. I really have never met a man who could be an enhancement to that. So, now, I will run with it! ARI
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#69740 - 05/12/05 01:02 AM
Re: "Epiphany" on self-worth
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Hey, Dotsie, Well, my nest is definitely empty! I have taken classes in weaving before and, in fact, I have two looms here at home, but I hope to expand my creativity toward three dimesional works incorporating mixed media with wire and even crochet into fiber art. (The thread on crochet here on Boomer has really opened up a lot of ideas as I've searched the Internet for "Freeform crochet" and wire crochet. In Ceramics, I have NO experience, so I am hoping the instructor can put up with my ignorance! ARI
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#69741 - 05/12/05 01:30 AM
Re: "Epiphany" on self-worth
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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Ariadne, I can attest to the great advice given by these great women here, especially in this 'Singlehood' department. Trust me, I've posted some serious inner soul search responses on this matter too.
After reading many many posts on loving YOU first and posts the like, I finally found a bit of comfort. Occassionally that looney lonely feeling reappears and I need another boost of reality checking.
As recent as yesterday evening, I entertained a great man. He'd invited me to several functions. I posted them here, actually, that I felt inadequate around the attendee's of this great man's function. Well, we've maintained a friendship since then.
For the last few days we've been chatting outside of the business box. That inadequate feeling came back when he asked 'ME' out. I wondered what he'd want with little ole' me vs. all of the women that are on his business level, especially those making it clear their availability.
He picked me up and I was so nervous, afraid I'd say something silly since I was feeling awkward and all of those self-doubty type issues I've adopted being single for so long (and other stuff too).
I recalled what these great ladies said the last time I posted my feelings and my muse, wittiness and conversation flowed smoothly.
It's not so bad when you realize that YOU are the on to love first. I can decline his advances. Actually, I want to decline because there are a few things that I need to work on before I can give me to he:)
Like most of them say here, "You'll know when Mr. Right is presence."
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